A House That's Lived In

I love a house that's “lived in”

with clutter here and there

a magazine left open

a jacket on a chair



A smell of something cooking

a special recipe?

An over-eager offer

of hospitality



I love a house that's “lived-in”

it seems to stand apart,

for in it is a woman

who has a loving heart. -               Anonymous



I saw that poem, framed and mounted, on the wall of a friend's house whilst visiting, and fell instantly in love with it. The dad very kindly penned it down for me on a piece of paper before I left. It captures the desire I have, of one day having a home that is hospitable, open to friends and family and strangers.

It also emphasises the importance of the role of a woman in making a house a home. I'm courting the wrath of feminists when I say this, but I believe that the woman in Proverbs 31, is being held up as a role model. Not so that we 'nomal' women work ourselves into a frenzy trying to achieve perfection, but so that when we study those verses closely we realise that that woman's life is structured on kindness, mercy, love, patience, industriousness and dignity. She is wise, and trusts in God for everything. Seems to me her conduct is very Christ-like, and isn't that what we are meant to be aiming for anyway – to learn from Jesus and show it in the way we live?

One day I'd like to have a home like that. A haven, where all are safe and happy. Where joy is a way of life. Where encouragement and kindness abound. Where love has priority. Where dreams are nourished. Where a life of adventure is kindled, and respite from the storms is found. Where prayer is the first impulse and the last resort. Where happy pets scurry and squawk. Where little feet, learn to crawl and then toddle and then run. Where little hands learn to grasp, and then draw and then scrawl and then write. Where young voices sing along with the old. Where smells of baking fill the air. Where music lightens the heart. Where the door is always open to strangers. Where God is first.

Can the Bible become an idol?

A friend asked me, “So what did you read in the Bible today?”
And I was stumped. I fumbled around with a lame answer and quickly changed the subject.

But later on, for the life of me, I could not recall what I had read that very morning!
True, I had been in a rush to get somewhere and hence had hurried over breakfast and God-time, but I could not remember exactly which passage I had been reading from.

Other than embarrasing me, that got me thinking.

I realised that my 'quiet' time had become a ritual, nothing more than a habit that I followed – like brushing my teeth every morning.

An unthinking routine.

My relationship with Jesus had come to a standstill. Like a stagnant pond, I was subsisting on the algae that had taken root over the years but there wasnt any fresh water, or revelation, evident in my life. I hadn't back-slidden as such, I'd just stalled. The Bible had become a replacement of the relationship I had shared with God.

But you see, to have a relationship, you need to communicate, to talk and to listen. Lately I had been talking at God and not waiting long enough to listen to what he had to say in return. As long as I met my reading quota for the day - one chapter from the Old Testament, one from the New, one Psalm and one from Proverbs - I was ok with the state of things.

Thankfully God wasn't. And as he often does, he sent a reminder in the form of that question.
I've realised that even a good thing, like the Bible, has the potential of becoming an idol*, when you replace God with it.

Learning from Saul

1 Samuel 10:20-24

20 So Samuel brought all the tribes of Israel before the Lord, and the tribe of Benjamin was chosen by lot. 21 Then he brought each family of the tribe of Benjamin before the Lord, and the family of the Matrites was chosen. And finally Saul son of Kish was chosen from among them. But when they looked for him, he had disappeared! 22 So they asked the Lord, “Where is he?”

   And the Lord replied, “He is hiding among the baggage.” 23 So they found him and brought him out, and he stood head and shoulders above anyone else.

 24 Then Samuel said to all the people, “This is the man the Lord has chosen as your king. No one in all Israel is like him!”

   And all the people shouted, “Long live the king!”

I think, often we can be like Saul. We know what God asks of us, we know what he wants us to do, we know that we are equipped and anointed, we can see the direction he is pointing us in – but we are scared, we doubt ourselves, we think he has made a wrong decision, we lack the confidence to step forward and take responsibility.

And so we hide.

We hide behind the 'baggage' of life.

Behind what has been 'done' to us.

Behind 'why the past' is the reason we cannot move forward into the future.

Behind 'busyness', doing everything except what he requires us to do.

Behind – excuses.

But God finds us out and leads us on. Saul was found hiding in the baggage compartment, and when he was brought (read dragged) out, he stood 'head and shoulders above anyone else'. This guy was huge, AND he was the handsomest man in all Israel (1 Samuel 9:2)! Amongst the twelve tribes of Israel, there was no one else fit to lead the nation. Yet he had self-worth issues (1 Samuel 9:21) which continued for the rest of his life. He never felt he was good enough. The feeling of being inferior and falling short of what was expected haunted him always.

Like Saul, we vacillate between our feelings and our calling.

We need to start seeing ourselves as God sees us. Our self worth is determined, not by what the world says about us, not even by what we tend to think of ourselves, but what God has to say about us, as his children. When we accept what Jesus did for us on the cross, we are forgiven and accepted into God's family. And when God looks at us, he sees, not what we have been, but what we are in Christ. That is where our identity lies, and that is where we should look whenever self-doubt creeps into our consciousness.

If God has called us to do something, he will equip us to do it well.  It’s all about stepping out in faith, knowing that God will come through. He knows all about Human Resources, he knows each one of us personally and he does not need to conduct an aptitude test to determine, whether or not, we are suited for the job. All he requires of us is to be willing and obedient.

Broken

As soon as it begins to matter

Headlong you turn and scatter

When people get too close

You want to flee

Don’t worry friend, it’s only me.

I know the past has been real tough

Life dealt you blows all off the cuff

Like a beautiful stallion

broken by brute

At the slightest sign of

Potential hurt,

is ready bolt.

You're now under the Master’s care

His gentleness will all hurts repair

And slowly you will learn to trust

And learn to love

even if it hurts

I ache.


Marvelling at the beauty of your creation.

Helpless, without a word, to satisfy the longing

to extol the You worthily.



I ache.

Each time I find an imprint of your creativity.

Each time I sense your presence about me.

I ache, wanting to praise, but ashamed of my meagre words.



I ache at the sound -

the crash of breakers on a lonely shore,

the voice of choirs lifted in adulation.



I ache at the sight of

the clean shiny green of a new leaf,

the glow of the dying sun setting all afire,



I ache in

the pregnant silence of deep forests,

and the stillness of a moonlit night.



The majesty of towering cliffs

The blinding brightness of the morning sun.

The vastness of the moaning sea.

A vibrant rainbow against the gray.

Leave me breathless,

aching to pour gratitude.



The warmth of friendship around a table

A hug from someone dear

The trusting hand-clasp of a child

The suddeness of a joy-caused tear.



The grandeur of a craggy range.

The swooping cry of a mountain bird.

And surprisingly I know why I ache -

my wordless heart calling to its Maker.

 
 
 
 
○ 2011 Rebekah D'Souza

Sunny days

Somebody said on Sunday, “There isn't anything fabulous happening, but there isn't anything bad happening either. I don't have anything to share because everything is normal, nothing out of the ordinary.”
Shouldn't we be thankful that things are going well, smoothly. Is good weather to be scorned because it is boring? I suppose its value is brought home when we long for normalcy in the midst of the storms of life.
I was telling a friend today how I missed the sunshine and looked forward to being home again. Which was when I also realised that whilst I was in sunny India I had not appreciated its warmth. The sunshine was just there, to be avoided in the summer and basked in in the winter, but not really something to be thankful for. Lord teach me to be grateful for today, for now, for the current passing moment!

An extract from my journal -

dated : 31/3/06
As I sat on the terrace this morning, I noticed the clouds in the sky.
What exactly are they?
Just moisture and gas, shapeless, bodiless, colorless, flimsy, drifting things.
Yet when the rays of the sun hit them, they become beautiful. The colors reflected are resplendent – shiny silver, sober gray, royally purple, pink & golden. Absolutely gorgeous.
In ourselves, let us strive to become and remain nothing. Then the reflection of the SON will make us a thing of great beauty.